Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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