I can text with my tongue
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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