your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
