i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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