All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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