I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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