just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
