where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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