I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
