You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
