What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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