is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
