Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
