maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
