sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
