**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
