this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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