lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
