fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
