I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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