yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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