Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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