what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As shirtless as possible
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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