on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
