Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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