all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
