I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
