wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss