bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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