I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize