the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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