Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
