i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
