Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Found your dick twin last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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