Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
