Swine flu. Run for my life!
I look better un-naked...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
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Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate