Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon