Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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  (304): I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine. http://tfl.nu/cm6i
  Replies (49) Good night (871) Bad night (6327)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.

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  (954): I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears. http://tfl.nu/6ckb
  Replies (14) Good night (5133) Bad night (1185)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.

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  (720): I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle. http://tfl.nu/5a1c
  Replies (9) Good night (1029) Bad night (2958)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times

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  (405): Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times http://tfl.nu/skpm
  Replies (8) Good night (3227) Bad night (942)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

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  (570): 12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began http://tfl.nu/mu8u
  Replies (21) Good night (5402) Bad night (1199)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

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  (610): i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition http://tfl.nu/g0ip
  Replies (14) Good night (934) Bad night (5113)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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  (862): dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off http://tfl.nu/s9m5
  Replies (4) Good night (2691) Bad night (1190)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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  (336): okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style. http://tfl.nu/uhtz
  Replies (10) Good night (5192) Bad night (1021)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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  (217): It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way. http://tfl.nu/sqy6
  Replies (5) Good night (2351) Bad night (1656)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.

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  (360): There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line. http://tfl.nu/jhch
  Replies (12) Good night (913) Bad night (2463)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

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  (270): No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife. http://tfl.nu/ovxt
  Replies (4) Good night (1965) Bad night (982)
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  (209): View more from California

  I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..

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  (209): I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him.. http://tfl.nu/g4nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1148) Bad night (631)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me

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  (519): I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me http://tfl.nu/9pcd
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (402)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!

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  (662): I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good! http://tfl.nu/4rir
  Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (524)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup

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  (813): ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup http://tfl.nu/9us7
  Replies (0) Good night (730) Bad night (328)

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