At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?