Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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  (513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide http://tfl.nu/gj7h
  Replies (19) Good night (856) Bad night (3875)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.

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  (727): I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused. http://tfl.nu/bje5
  Replies (24) Good night (1183) Bad night (3997)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

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  (931): she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by. http://tfl.nu/75ga
  Replies (14) Good night (5261) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

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  (502): I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school.. (1-502): Aren't you in 8th grade? (502): 9th, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/te0g
  Replies (104) Good night (5849) Bad night (3865)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"

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  (419): Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get" http://tfl.nu/yg96
  Replies (23) Good night (9093) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate

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  (805): they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate http://tfl.nu/r0av
  Replies (22) Good night (9206) Bad night (1510)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I think this baby is eyeing my beer

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  (480): I think this baby is eyeing my beer http://tfl.nu/6ms6
  Replies (13) Good night (5190) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering

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  (610): They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering http://tfl.nu/lidm
  Replies (9) Good night (3479) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.

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  (479): Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle. http://tfl.nu/ldbf
  Replies (11) Good night (2281) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.

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  (270): truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around. http://tfl.nu/6rm8
  Replies (7) Good night (1764) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.

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  (801): Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro. http://tfl.nu/3s7e
  Replies (9) Good night (3226) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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  (402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal
  Replies (12) Good night (804) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"

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  (306): And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing" http://tfl.nu/qhff
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.

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  (904): its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go. http://tfl.nu/zvzo
  Replies (14) Good night (641) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I just got carded by a ten year old.

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  (713): I just got carded by a ten year old. http://tfl.nu/ytwr
  Replies (5) Good night (921) Bad night (982)

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