$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.