May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
