If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
