my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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