Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
