Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
