The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
