so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
