Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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