I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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