we have pet lesbian snakes
vagina is talking i cant
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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