good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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