This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
