I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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