I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
