I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
is it fun? or sober?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
