I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
