batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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