I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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