Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
