I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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