Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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