and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
