We're like a lot better than the average bears
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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