Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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