Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just had sex on a roof
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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